CYBERSENSE—Turning Boring, Beige Computer Boxes Into Artwork

With computers, as with people, it’s what’s inside that counts. But everybody could use a makeover now and then. For some, a new haircut or cooler clothes will suffice. Others feel the need for a trip to the tattoo parlor or a plastic surgeon. The same sorts of choices are available to computer owners. Though most people settle for their plain beige boxes, a growing number of geeks are going to great lengths to give their old computers a new look. Most PC makeovers begin with a simple paint job. It might sound crazy to apply a wet sticky substance like paint to an expensive electronic gadget like a computer. But anyone who can figure out how to download e-mail should be smart enough to remove the outer case and front panel from the chassis before breaking out the Krylon. A visit to the Cool Case Gallery at Virtual Hideout (www.virtualhideout.net), a site featuring customized PCs, reveals a selection of tricked out paint jobs worthy of any hotrod magazine. The photos submitted by visitors show computers decked out in everything from a sleek gunmetal blue to a detailed airbrushed masterpiece featuring skulls and faux shotgun holes. Speaking of holes, they’re popular, too. Many users install custom portholes in their cases, revealing a glimpse of their computer’s guts. While this sort of thing wouldn’t look good on your average supermodel, it does wonders for a PC. Neon glow Of course, a window does you little good if it’s too dark to see what’s inside. So a number of people have installed neon lights inside their cases, giving them a radioactive glow worthy of an old science fiction flick. A few have gone so far as to conduct some interior decorating, hanging skulls and disco balls amid their cables and circuit boards. Many makeovers focus on improving the computer’s cooling system, a concern for people who tweak their processor to run faster and hotter than the factory recommends. While these so-called “overclockers” usually just add a couple of fans, sometimes they get a little carried away. Take, for instance, the guy who won the coolest-case competition held earlier this month at Quakecon (planetquake.com/ quakecon2k/casecontest.shtml), an annual gathering of video game aficionados. He replaced one side of his computer with a giant floor fan. To make room, he constructed a new case out of PVC pipe and Plexiglas. Now that’s a cool computer. Replacing the case entirely is the most dramatic step a computer redesigner can take, the equivalent of tearing down the walls of your house and starting over from scratch. It’s not for the faint of heart or, for that matter, the sound of mind. But for the truly obsessed, it’s the only way to go. One fellow built a new case entirely of clear plastic, covered the bottom with rocks and hung little fake fishes inside. Voila a virtual fishbowl. Others have replaced their cases with suitcases, creating portable PCs that definitely aren’t meant for laptops. Then there’s the guy who installed his motherboard, hard drive and other components in a cardboard shipping box, complete with packaging tape on the seams. When the authorities finally catch up to him and haul him back to the funny farm, his family can just buy a few stamps and mail it to him. Up for bids The absolute Mac Daddy of customized computers was built by Chris Horn, a Brown University student with a knack for woodworking. According to his Web site (home.nycap. rr.com/snozberry/index.html), he spent 350 hours building the coffee table-shaped case from African mahogany, cherry-veneered plywood and cobalt blue tile. He’s put it up for sale, and bids start at $4,000. Don’t laugh: One look at the case and you’ll realize he’ll probably get more than that. Thankfully, buyers of new computers don’t need to go to these lengths to get a decent looking machine. Inspired by those colorful iMacs and their more powerful Apple cousins, PC makers are designing models with translucent plastic inserts and decorator designs that improve on the basic beige box. But if you want your older computer to stand out from the crowd, you’re going to have to break out the toolbox and do it yourself. To contact syndicated columnist Joe Salkowski, you can e-mail him at [email protected] or write to him c/o Tribune Media Services Inc., 435 N. Michigan Ave., Suite 1400, Chicago, Ill., 60611.