In my youth (parts of which I can still dimly remember), I wanted to be a crusading reporter or a muckraker like Lincoln Steffens, Ida Tarbell, or Upton Sinclair. Latter-day muckrakers, such as Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein (can you think of one without the other?) and Ralph Nader, held little appeal to me. Over the nearly five years Olde Editor of the Business Journal has suffered the vagaries of this column in resigned acquiescence, we have taken a shot or two at such easy targets as Angelo Mozilo, the Los Angeles Times, and numerous City Hall denizens. So here’s one more: the latest scam perpetrated on us by what used to be known as Ma Bell, with all the warmth and caring such a nickname once connoted. First of all, AT&T isn’t really the Bell System or American Telephone & Telegraph anymore. It’s the product of deregulation and divestitures; mergers and mandates; and spinoffs and stock swaps. And for those of us who care about American history, business ingenuity, and ability to adapt to technological advances, AT&T’s descent into its present deceitful business practices is a sad one. For example: Recently, my associate Terry Stevens received a call from someone “calling on behalf of AT&T,” informing her that Cooper Communications’ current telephone plan was not the best one for us. As a result, Terry changed to the recommended plan. End of story, right? Wrong… Since that time, we have received at least ten more calls from AT&T asking us to switch to another plan. Each time, Terry informed the AT&T representative that we had already switched, and asked to have us removed from their call list. Each time, they assured her it would be done. By the fourth call, she asked to speak to a supervisor. Apparently, however, calling representatives are instructed not to make a supervisor available, because she never did get one on the phone; each time the call would mysteriously be disconnected or she would be put into the maddening voice-prompt system to rot for eternity. As it turns out, the aggressive phone calls were just the start of the problem. When we received the bill with the upgraded plan, our cost was not reduced at all; it was $80 higher than our previous bill! Irritated, Terry called AT&T directly to discuss the bill and the ongoing calls. Enter James… James explained that the unsolicited calls we had been receiving were not from AT&T employees at all, but from independent solicitors who are paid by AT&T on a commission-only basis to sell you an upgraded plan. He admitted that he receives calls “all day long” from angry customers who have upgraded to unnecessary plans on the advice of commission-only AT&T solicitors assuming the threadbare mantle of a helpful customer service rep. James also explained that the plan we had been sold was “way more than we needed” based upon his review; he put us back on our original plan. That done, Terry asked why we continued to be targeted even though she’d made numerous requests to be removed from the commissioned solicitors’ call lists. The answer, of course, is that since these solicitors are not paid to do anything but to switch customers to a more expensive plan, they certainly are not going to waste time taking us off their call list. If you want to get off AT&T’s call list, you have to call the company, not depend on a call you receive from a salesperson. On December 10, I received a call from “Robert,” who identified himself as an “AT&T account specialist,” from “Las Vegas, you know, the City of Light.” I always thought Paris was the City of Light, but what do I know? And then finally, a call came in from Edward Parker, calling, he said, from Orlando, Fla; he even gave me his AT&T company ID. He offered to fax information showing that the plan he was offering was more cost-effective than the one we had…We’re still waiting for that fax. And of course, there is no AT&T employee named Edward Parker, and that’s not an AT&T employee number. I know this will come as a huge shock to Business Journal readers, but phone service plans are designed to be confusing. Between the various plans, upgrades, extras, special offers, and everything else they throw at you, it’s impossible to keep up with what’s best for your business. Best bet: call AT&T periodically and have them review your bill to make sure your current plan is the best one for you. Oh, yes, on top of everything else, it appears that “upgrade” prices are subjective, based on who’s selling it to you. After Terry signed up for the $51 long distance plan, she received a call several days later telling her she could upgrade to that same plan…for $60 a month! To make matters worse, if you do change your plan, there are penalty fees associated with early withdrawal. When Terry spoke with James, she asked to be put on a “no solicitation” list. He told her he would do so but that it might take up to 30 days. Since that time we have received at least three more calls, with another week to go before the 30-day mark….we shall see. Is there any irony in the fact that “Alexander Graham Bell” rhymes with “Telephone Hell”? I would throw my phone away if I could get away with it. – Tom Hanks Martin Cooper is President of Cooper Communications, Inc. He is President of the Los Angeles Quality and Productivity Commission, Founding President of The Executives, Vice Chairman-Marketing of the Boys & Girls Club of the West Valley, and a member of the Boards of the Valley Economic Alliance and of the LAPD’s West Valley Jeopardy Program. He is a Past Chairman of VICA and Chairman of its Board of Governors, Past President of the Public Relations Society of America-Los Angeles Chapter, and of the Encino Chamber of Commerce. He can be reached at [email protected].