Victor Berrellez is a vice president and commercial banking relationship manager at U.S. Bank, has more than 30 years of experience in commercial banking. He’s also involved in the community, serving as a two-time chair and current board member at the Valley Industry & Commerce Association. But his life has not been without mistakes. Here, he discusses the necessity of difficult conversations.

“It’s not in our nature to bring up uncomfortable topics or to tell people bad news. But these things are a part of life, in business and at home. The avoidance of discomfort is often so strong that we don’t tell our customers and colleagues bad news right away. Sometimes we avoid the topic altogether, hoping that it will all go away on its own. Rarely does it.

It took me a while to learn that life is full of uncomfortable conversations. Talking to family, friends, creditors or business associates there will always be these types of talks whether we are to deliver them or be on the receiving end.

Early on in my banking career, I avoided these (conversations)or let others handle them instead. I thought of these occasions as only enhancing risk of spoiling a relationship. There was no upside to be gotten, I thought.

However, I can recall a couple of times that proved my philosophy wrong.”

Working as a sales rep

“Early in my career, I was a sales representative for a large copier company working in three ZIP codes in North Hollywood. I went door to door, pushing a copier on a cart while wearing a suit and tie in 100-degree Valley weather in August. At the time, the company was selling some copiers with questionable reliability and customers were not happy. I was asked to go along with another sales rep, who was much more experienced than I to visit one of these dissatisfied clients. Well he was angry, all right, and he let my colleague know in very colorful language. I wanted to melt into the chair and just fade away. I just wanted to apologize to him and leave quickly but every time I snuck a glance at my colleague, she sat there upright, nodding her head and saying “Yes, I see” and “I understand” every so often. She kept it up and asked the occasional question and sure enough, the client began to cool down and listened to her questions and gradually accepted her recommendation for a new and upgraded unit.

She took an uncomfortable situation and turned it to her advantage.. She was my hero and as we drove back to the office I told her so. I should have learned right there that it was best to confront conflict immediately but I let my emotions dictate my actions a while longer.”