It doesn’t happen often, but on rare occasions, a Kaleidoscope diatribe is worth revisiting. There have been so many reactions (believe it or not, all positive) to our last column on Our Valley’s (and our world’s) misuse of punctuation, misspelled words, ungrammatical verbiage, and generally sloppy use of our language, that a reprise is in order. Not that everyone pays attention. For example, the last column took Chablis restaurant in Tarzana to task for not using prix fixe correctly. In an ad in the March 6 issue of the Los Angeles Times, one of our favorite eateries, Café Bizou, is trumpeting its “Three Course Prix Fixed Menu.” I wouldn’t even think of telling them that “Three Course” is a compound adjective…let alone dealing again with the prix fixe issue. While pictorial representations rarely accompany this back-of-the-book column, the photograph below says it all. O.A.S. Construction, the contractor working on this Encino house (and let’s hope he’s better at building than at spelling) provides “costume” houses, rather than “custom” houses. And Councilman Dennis Zine, who keeps an eagle eye on the entire Valley, not just his West Valley District, recently spied a sign on an apartment for rent on Victory Blvd. near Coldwater Canyon Ave. The sign reads: 1 BADROOM FOR RENT.” The Councilman wonders if there are bad people in the building or, on the other hand, if it’s a bad room. If that’s the case, perhaps we should call in O.A.S. Construction. But don’t feel that those of us living and laboring North of Mulholland have a monopoly on our ability to massacre the métier of our language. The March 2, 2010, issue of Daily Variety had a major feature on the premiere of the new Alice in Wonderland film. Writer Helen Jackson (and her apparently missing-in-action editor) thrilled readers with her reportage of the London premiere of Tim Burton’s newest effort by informing us of the stars who: “…treaded the crochet lawn up to Leicester Square’s Odeon…” I doubt that the lawn was crocheted; perhaps she meant “croquet,” as in the croquet lawn that the Queen of Hearts played on in the book…and the film. When I’m king (fat chance!) two words will be stricken from the English language: “Awesome” – as in everything is overwhelmingly amazing. When I ordered my egg white frittata at Marmalade last week, my server (we don’t have waiters or waitresses any more) was quick to inform me that my choice of breakfast fare was “Awesome!” Nothing is ordinary or acceptable; everything is “Awesome.” “Like” – How do we convince everyone under 25 that there is no rule in English grammar that forces one to use the word “like” every fourth word? But perhaps we should not be so hard on those who struggle with our language. That great English writer, Eric Arthur Blair, better known by his pen name, George Orwell, obviously took pity on those challenged by English: “To write or even speak English is not a science but an art. Whoever writes English is involved in a struggle that never lets up even for a sentence. He is struggling against vagueness, against obscurity, against the lure of the decorative adjective, against the encroachment of Latin and Greek, and, above all, against the worn-out phrases and dead metaphors with which the language is cluttered up.” Right on, George, but none of that is an excuse for linguistic laziness. [The English language] becomes ugly and inaccurate because our thoughts are foolish, but the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts. – George Orwell Martin Cooper is President of Cooper Communications, Inc. He is President of the Los Angeles Quality and Productivity Commission, Founding President of The Executives, Vice Chairman-Marketing of the Boys & Girls Club of the West Valley, and a member of the Boards of the Valley Economic Alliance and of the LAPD’s West Valley Jeopardy Program. He is a Past Chairman of VICA and Chairman of its Board of Governors, Past President of the Public Relations Society of America-Los Angeles Chapter and of the Encino Chamber of Commerce. He can be reached at [email protected].
