They’re rioting in Africa There’s strife in Iran What nature doesn’t do to us Will be done by our fellow man. Accurate as those lines are, they don’t come from yesterday’s Daily News or Los Angeles Times. They’re from “The Merry Minuet,” a Kingston Trio song recorded on their album, “From the Hungry I” in 1959! Yes, they are definitely rioting in Africa and there is certainly strife in Iran. And our fellow man does seem to be doing to us what nature doesn’t. A few examples: – The NCAA, that paragon of rectitude, is investigating our own Encino resident, 97-year-old John Wooden for having dinner with a potential recruit (anyone not heard of UCLA’s Kevin Love yet?) and his parents. – Angelo Mozilo, that paragon of wreck, will walk away from Calabasas-based Countrywide Financial with a severance package in excess of $100 million, leaving strewn behind him the lives of 12,000 now out-of-work employees, including many from Our Valley. – The Governor, that paragon of politics, has changed his mind, now supporting Speaker of the State Assembly Fabian Nunez’ ballot measure that sounds like term limits reform, but in reality extends his own ability to stay in office. We’ve begun 2008 with the same head-shaking illogical society with which we ended 2007. Perhaps there’s a parallel universe, and in that universe John Wooden is praised by the NCAA, Angelo Mozilo gives some of his millions to the needier among his fired employees, and the Governor doesn’t offer a quid pro quo in return for support of his own agenda. In my parallel universe, no LAPD officers would have to reveal their personal finances; major studios and networks would recognize the absolute necessity of writers and compensate them accordingly; gasoline would sell for a buck a gallon; and the anti-poverty agency, M.E.N.D., would go out of business because there would be no hungry or poorly clothed people left in the Valley who needed help. Of course our transportation patterns would change in that parallel universe, as well. Reseda Boulevard would connect with Mulholland to alleviate street congestion through Reseda, Tarzana, Encino, and Sherman Oaks. Santa Clarita, Palmdale, Lancaster, and other cities whose growth forces traffic down the I-5 and 405 Freeways to jobs in our city would make amends by giving Los Angeles millions of dollars in reparations, to be used to improve traffic flow. And we’d finally figure out that you can have a city where jobs are close to residences, significantly reducing the time, cost and stress of commuting. Technology would play an important place in that parallel universe. Cell phones would be programmed to automatically self-destruct if utilized in an automobile with its engine running. Drivers of SUVs and Hummers who park in spaces clearly marked “Compact Cars Only” would return to their vehicles to find them shrunk to fit within the spaces. Star Trek’s food replicators would do away with the necessity for cooking. Instead of Captain Picard’s command, “Tea. Hot. Earl Gray,” I could see myself ordering from my den chair, “Pastrami. On rye. Brent’s Deli.” Government would change dramatically. Our elected officials would not be able to vote themselves and each other raises while we suffer from deficits, struggle to avoid recession, and see escalating unemployment figures. There would be 20 or so Los Angeles County Supervisors, not five, bringing government closer to the governed. Los Angeles City Council members and the Mayor would be mandated to provide a rolling strategic plan to address issues such as water, transportation, growth and other such matters that are now addressed in a patchwork fashion. And of course, ill-advised, illogical and ill-conceived business taxes would be eliminated. Not that we’re the first to hunger for the perfect society. The 16th century English lawyer, author, and statesman, Sir Thomas More coined the word “utopia” in his 1516 book. Utopia was the name he bestowed upon an idealized perfect society existing on an imaginary island. We don’t really need that utopia, but it would be nice to do away with the rioting in Africa and the strife in Iran and the pain of families whose sons and daughters die in wars over the centuries and around the globe. The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom. Author and futurist Isaac Asimov Martin Cooper is President of Cooper Communications, Inc., President of the Los Angeles Quality and Productivity Commission, and a member of the city’s Business Retention and Attraction Task Force. He is Past Chairman of VICA, Past President of the Public Relations Society of America-Los Angeles Chapter, and Past President of the Encino Chamber of Commerce. He can be reached at mcooper@cooper comm.net .
